Thursday, February 26, 2009

love is in the air

My newly acquired nephew, who, if you ask his age will immediately respond with a shy smile: “My age is three years and nine months”, had an early lesson, a bit too early. He learnt about marriage and became very interested in getting married himself. Few weeks after seeing his uncle undergoing this strange procedure called ‘marriage’, he sat down with his grandmother and declared, confidingly, he is interested in getting married. He even showed the couch where he intends to sit his bride on that grand occasion. He added a bit shyly that his grandmother must ask his mother to let him sit down beside ‘his bride’. He wants to sit beside her and feed her sweets.

Poor child, he has to wait another 20 years or so before his mother lets him do any such thing!

This child never stops surprising me. I have no idea what can he possibly comprehend with his relatively smooth frontal lobe, but I can tell, he becomes very embarrassed if he accidentally sees his uncle showing any sign of affection towards me.

However, he himself is an expert in his expression of affection. The day before I was leaving my husband’s homeland, I couldn’t stop tears from rolling down my cheek when my teary mother-in-law was stroking my head with great affection. Then this little guy climbed on his mother’s lap and put his small arms around my neck, hugged me and kissed my face with his soft lips, as if, he is prepared to heal any of my wound with his affection alone!

Such an adorable little one!

He is just one of the little gifts Allah bestowed on me lately. My mother-in-law, Ammu as I call her, is a woman whose face and words are reflections of her clean and affectionate heart. The very first day she came to see me she emptied her own drink on my glass. I immediately felt the warmth of her heart. When I first went to her house, she insisted on feeding me with her own hand. I was feeling shy, such gestures of affection are generally unheard of in Bangladesh. It is generally the brides who are expected to take care of their mother-in-laws like queens, but mother-in-laws usually treat their daughter-in-laws neither as princesses nor as daughters.

That day I recognised the origin of my husband’s endless capacity of loving and giving.

I must also mention the other mother I lately acquired, my uncle’s wife in relation, but her husband and my uncle conducted my marriage ceremony, which entitled him with the special honour of ‘Ukeel Baba’ according to Bangladeshi custom. My marriage ceremony was held in their house. I have never seen any other couple comparable in their ability of giving so warmly. Specially my aunty, Nargis mami has helped us, the young couple in her own discreet ways. Starting from helping me make the decision of joining with my life partner to helping our romance to survive and flourish in every possible way. She would scold me like a real mother if I spent too long in the bathroom while my husband waited for me, sometimes she would prepare our meal in a tray and tell me to take that to the seclusion of our room, only so that we get a little more privacy. Of course she would never admit that, ‘its only so that I like my kitchen clean, but the kids are running around here, they will go crazy at the sight of food’. I will never forget her long talks on what makes a relationship click (hint: the c word). During our very long stay in her house, I have never felt uncomfortable, always had plenty of food on the table, and never saw the beautiful smile fading from her face. I knew her to be a strong woman with complete control over her emotion, but she was weeping the day I was leaving!

Of course my parents have done everything in their capacity to ensure all these love for me, the best gift any parents can give. And they haven’t washed their hands off me yet, they are still pouring grease to make my journey smooth. I cannot explain how their eyes light up every time they look at the happy and content me.

I have been restraining myself long enough from saying anything about the centre of this post--my friend and life partner. He is a blessing in my life. It has been less than two months, but we don’t even have to look at each other to understand each other, despite of all the differences in cultural context or lack of time spent together. All I can say is, it is entirely Allah’s giving. He knows how to make me feel 100%, complete and he spared no opportunity of doing so in last couple of months. I love his his jokes, his unique way of relating things, his ability to adopt, his soft heart. Of course there are a few things I don’t like about him, but thank god for those, because they are superficial, minor and changeable flaws. Allah is merciful enough to make him an erroneous human through those and not any other major ones.

I thank Allah for granting me the best of the best.

I miss him. A lot.

1 comment:

Em said...

Salaam. Ma sha Allah, wonderful news!

Congratulations from Mr and Mrs Em. May Allah continue to bless all of our lives.